Don't Call Me "Babe"

     America, it's time we sat down and had a little chat. Y'see, there's a problem in our culture. It's pervasive. It's insidious. It's gross.
     It's time we talked about "babe". Ever since I was a young Fem-Mermaid, I've had a problem with the use of "babe" (and "baby", for that matter) as a term of endearment. Why, you ask? Well.....

This. This is why. (Source)

Let's look at other (less icky, more mature) terms of endearment.

• Boo (from the more archaic "Beau")
• Cutey
• Dear
• Dearie
• Darling
• Honey
• Hon
• Honey-Bunch
• Love
• Lover
• Precious
• Sexy
• Sweetie
• Sweetie-Pie
• Sweetheart
• Sugar
• (And many, many more, including more personalized names)

     Notice what that list of names has in common. For one, there's a comparison to sweet foods or flavors. Love is sweet. Or, as the Bard ironically wrote, "Sweets to the sweet". Some terms show the level of attraction in the relationship "He's so sexy, I just call him Sexy!". Some are terms that define the relationship--"dear" can be a nickname, or it can describe how important something is. "That is dear to me." Either way, the above nicknames tell the nature of the relationship. Calling your significant other "Sweetheart" implies they have a sweet/kind heart. Awwww. Doesn't that just make you melt a bit?
     So, back to "babe" and "baby". What do those terms imply? .......that your loved one is....like....an.....infant. Let that sink in. If you are a "babe"-user, you might be tempted to argue, "What! No! "Babe" means a hot person! As in, "what a babe!"" This could be, but why in the realm of almighty God does "babe" mean a HOT person???? What is hot about babies??? (Hopefully you're thinking, "eeew. Nothing!" Good. You're not a pedophile.)

Hey, uh...baby. (Source)

     Answer: Nothing is hot about babies. Nothing is attractive about babies. Sure, they're cute. But not cute in the way adults are cute. They're chubby, helpless, and sleep and cry a lot. They also can't clean up after themselves or hold a conversation. If "babe" is used to imply level of caring, well, that's more than a little patronizing, isn't it? Not sexy. Not hot. [Though it's not nearly so common, "sexy girl" or "sexy boy" has the same squickyness to it. Boys and girls are not sexy. They're seven.]
     Throughout history, it's been popular to infantalize the opposite sex to make them "more" attractive. The remnants remaining today are things like using baby talk during times of intimacy and calling your partner "mommy" or, more commonly, "daddy". Sugar-daddies are a great example of this.

Lovely. (Source)

     The term Sugar-daddy plays on the creepy incestuous vibe such relationships give out. The age difference is such that he could be his lover's father. He tends to provide for the woman, much the way a father would provide for his child. The woman is completely powerless in the relationship except for the manipulation of her sex appeal. What a healthy relationship! (cough cough patriarchy cough) 

     Using the "babe" or "baby" implies a similar relationship. Where is the respect of "babe"? There's isn't any. People don't respect babies. They care for them. They tolerate their tantrums and under-developed communication skills. You wouldn't call your baby "Lover", so why would you call your lover "Baby"?

Have a relationship like this. (Source)

     Don't worry, if you are trapped in a Baby relationship, there is hope! If you are the Baby-caller, try the following--consider your loved one's appeal to you. Do you love them because they are sweet? Sassy? Sexy? Do they remind you of an animal you like? Create a tailor-made name for them to show you really care! Why use the generic, boring, and creepy "baby" when you can use "Sassy-Pants" or "Love-Panda"? Terms of endearment are allowed to be silly (just think, you've been comparing your loved one to an infant all this time), so feel free to go wild! Have some respect for your partner, their personality, and their accomplishments; They deserve better than "baby". 

Not this. (Source)

    If, on the other hand, you are the one assaulted with the term "baby" in your relationship, it's probably time to stand up for yourself. Why settle for "Baby"? Tell your partner to stop patronizing you and to try harder (After all, open and clear communication is very important in healthy relationships). "I'm not a baby" would be a fabulous starting line.