Love Triangle Dynamics in the Force Awakens [Rey]

Hello and welcome, everybody. This is the third and final piece on Love Triangle Dynamics as seen in The Force Awakens. If you haven’t read Parts I and II yet, I suggest you do. Return readers, hello again! Thanks for coming back.

I’m really excited for this post, as it’s about our wonderful protagonist, Rey. I could go on and on about the design of her character, but I’m going to try to reign it in and keep it within the scope of what we’re talking about.
[Also, I'm sorry if the formatting is wonky. It's been giving me fits for the last forty minutes or so. Blogspot is good, but it sometimes puts extra spaces where there are none....oh well. I hope it doesn't mess with your reading too much!]

Typical Girl in Love Triangle Dynamics

One of the reasons I’m so excited to talk about Rey is because, of all the characters involved in the pattern we’ve been talking about, the Girl character is the most free. This is for two reasons:

1. Sexism—for all that the love triangle rotates around the girl, who she is/what she wants typically doesn’t matter to the pattern. What makes the love triangle is having two guys interested in the protagonist, and their actions (the rivalry, the lying, the protection, the Kidnapping, etc) are what drive that aspect of the plot. The girl’s ultimate choice of Good Guy or Bad Guy doesn’t affect the other aspects of the plot, just the ending.
2. Genre Differences—though a “romantic” pattern, this style of love triangle pops up in all sorts of genres. As the female protagonist is the protagonist, she needs to fit the story. The guys, however, are supporting characters to her; they rely on her, and their actions revolve around her. Therefore, we might have one type of heroine in, say, a Gothic Horror, and a completely different one in a romantic comedy, but the male characters will be pretty much the same.

As this is the case, the Girl-in-Love-Triangle is not a character to be subverted (to subvert, in literature/art, is to subtly tweak/twist the underlying pattern to make a point), but rather is more of a blank slate character who can be added to. That being said, there are some traits that appear more often than not in these protagonist characters:

1. Younger-than or same-age to the male characters—almost never older
2. Good-looking, but not in a conventional way—it’s rare to see these characters written as a 5’8” blonde/redheaded bombshell with the perfect hourglass figure. Their attractive nature comes from within more than from without.
3. Usually disadvantaged in some way—typically money/class-wise
4. Orphaned/lacking full parental support—more common for the mother to be dead than the father
5. Is an innocent/naïve/good person—often these traits are treated interchangeably and tied to their youth. A dash of physical delicacy/weakness is typically included for good measure.
6. Does not protect self very well—but is extremely defensive/proactive about defending friends/family
7. Has an inherent skill or ability that is not ‘common’—this can be a finite skill, like “detective-work”, or a more intangible one like “forgiveness”
8. Holds a non-typical role in society—this can be a quirky job “cupcake-store owner”, a social position “outsider”, or part of their skill/ability “likes to work on cars”

Now, as before, it’s important to note where our character, Rey, fits these “normals” and where she doesn’t. First, the fits:

• She is younger than Kylo and younger than Finn.
• Her most obvious trait is not her looks.
• In the scheme of the galaxy, Rey is very disadvantaged both class and money-wise.
• We don’t know who her parents are or why they’re not with her, but she doesn’t have them and hasn’t had them. She also doesn’t have/hasn’t had viable stand-ins.
• She’s skilled at scavenging, mechanical work, and piloting.
•  Besides her scavenger/piloting skills, Rey has innate force-abilities (very rare), and a background that presumably sets her apart from the others on Jakku.

So, Rey fits this Girl-in-Love-Triangle type enough that we recognize her in the role. Where Rey does not fit the “typical” Girl-in-Love-Triangle protagonist schema is where it gets juicy. This is also where Rey’s design as a “feminist” character comes in.

Strong Female Character

I’m sure we’re all familiar with the “strong female” of action movies. She fights bad guys! She shoots two guns at once! She survives horrifying explosions, and she does it all in heels and a rubber cat suit! (Extra “strong” points are awarded if said cat suit is unzipped to show a bracing amount of cleavage)

Oops. not this one.

Ah, there we go.

You know the type. When these “strong” female characters are designed, it seems not much thought is put into them. They need to be sexy, so the bros in the audience will enjoy themselves, and for the women, a sop of unrealistic physical performance (in heels!) is included. Rey, however, is different. She gives the impression of being designed very deliberately; she meets enough of the common traits so as not to seem too “out there”, but where she has additional traits, they were added thoughtfully and smoothly.

Rey’s Intro—Competence and Solitude

Character introductions are very important. They set the tone for the whole story; they give us our first impression, upon which we are meant to build everything else. For a Girl-in-Love-Triangle, this usually involves something about her being helpful to someone or very cute/clumsy. For Rey, we get this:

At first, her sex is not clear. What is apparent is the character’s skill and solitude, enhanced by the following shots.

We know the character has a knowledge of spaceships and their inner working and seems well-prepared for the task at hand. We know the character works alone in what seems to be a dangerous profession. We know the character had the wherewithal to climb up that freaking rope that looks to be a mile long (mild exaggeration). The character also is confident no one else will come to take from their work, as shown by the rope being left where it is; this further emphasizes the character’s determination/hardworking/skilled nature (going out of the way to find something others don’t) and loneliness (no one bothers to wonder where our character goes every day). Only after these things are established do we learn what Rey looks like and that she is female. Therefore, her establishing character traits are her competence and solitude.

Skills first. Looks second.

She drives off through the barren wastes. The first living creature to share a screen with Rey is that creepy vulture-like-thing. The first character Rey acknowledges is the old woman sitting across the cleaning table from her, but rather than commiserating, Rey remains silent.

"I am the ghost of Christmas future."

"Gross."

Rey’s Home

We’re shown another layer of Rey’s life and character when we see into her home. This set of scenes is when people tend to give Rey the “cute” label. Her home is full of knick-knacks, including a homemade pilot doll.

Then we are immediately treated to Rey’s wall of days.

Though many take her doll to be a sign of “cuteness” , I don’t think that was what the movie is going for. If the doll was for “cute” factor, it should be of something cute, yeah? Instead, it’s a pilot—a person whose job it is to fly around and shoot other people.

The doll, paired with the wall, is not meant to make us say, “awww, how cute”, but to show how irregular and unpleasant Rey’s life is. Again, she is lonely. She still hasn’t spoken. She hangs on to a toy that she doesn’t play with, probably to remind her of more pleasant times in the past. She keeps track of her days, like a prisoner.

The helmet scene is another one taken as “cute”, where, like the dolls, it’s more an indicator of Rey’s mental state. She’s 20. She’s playing make-believe. This isn’t because she’s cute; it’s because her life is terrible, and, again, she’s not playing something “cute”. She’s playing a pilot. Someone who can fly away. Someone who is tough. Someone who fights and kills others.

She still hasn’t spoken.

Wait….Rey….isn’t…..Sweet? The Power of Tropes

First, a word on the power of tropes. Primarily, Rey is an action-protagonist. She’s the hero of an epic-(space) fantasy-story. However, because of the build of Finn and Kylo, she is also the heroine/center of a love triangle. Now, the reason I bring this up is to point out something about how fans perceive Rey. Action heroes fit a certain mold; they are strong, closed-off, and usually have some sort of unpleasant event in their past driving them forward. They get snappy one-liners and kick a lot of butt. Rey fits into this mold as an action hero (she is one), however, when people talk about her, it is not always in this context.

In affectionate descriptions, Rey is called “sweet” “innocent” “the embodiment of the light” “so kind” “so pure” “good” “smol”. As before addressed, these descriptions are very typical of Girl-in-Love-Triangle characters, but Rey does not possess these traits. She is primarily an action hero.

These cute descriptions and assumptions are interesting for two reasons. 1) It proves people are picking up on something out of the typical “action hero!” norm 2) They’re picking up on these character traits despite the lack of groundwork. 

In the previous posts, I talked about how Finn’s intro shows his compassion and Kylo’s paints him as a terrifying villain. If Rey was predominantly “sweet” or “good”, her intro would reflect this. However, her intro serves to highlight her skill and solitude. Then, we get her first lines. Like first impressions, these are important—voice, tone, and words all help the audience understand the character more. If we were meant to find Rey sweet, her first words would mostly likely be sweet. She might offer comfort or friendship to the old lady. She might speak to an inanimate object or animal in a kindly way (think Disney princess). Rey’s first words, however, are yelling.

First Words/Interaction

To this point, Rey has been spoken to (negatively both times), but she has not spoken. Her first words are yelled.

Something like, "What do you think you're doing?!", presumably

This is Rey’s first interaction—arguing.

Next, she tells BB-8 to “shhh” and then insults the Teedo. She fixes BB-8’s antenna, asks after BB-8’s origin, gives advice, and walks away.

When BB-8 begins to follow, Rey responds, “Don’t follow me”, followed with “No” and “No”, before turning to BB-8 and offering a night’s stay, “In the morning, you go.”

And with that, Rey’s full introduction is over. We have been given the base we need to understand her character for the rest of the story.

Intro Summary

Rey is many times shown to be a capable, hardworking, and lonely person. Despite her solitary existence (probably because of it, honestly), Rey doesn’t “play well with others”: Her interactions are overwhelmingly negative, both while giving and receiving. She is the typical love-triangle heroine in some ways, but her character takes a major divergence from the norm in her personality. Rather than being a sweet or kind person, she’s abrasive and apathetic towards the plights of others.

Hit First, Ask Questions Later

Another aspect of Rey’s core characterization is that she hits first and asks questions later. This impulse is shown throughout the movie and has interesting implications for her future.

[Note: Rey’s reasons for her aggressive actions are immaterial. Duh, she has reasons, or she wouldn’t do it. We’re not looking at motivation, we’re looking at action.]

• When Rey hears the commotion with the Teedo, she runs over and engages, yelling angrily, cutting BB-8 loose before knowing the full story, and gesturing with her knife.
• In the marketplace, when the two goons try to steal BB-8, Rey instantly kicks goon #1 in the head, even though all that’s happened is one has thrown a cloth over BB-8.
• When BB-8 says Finn stole Poe’s jacket, Rey’s immediate response is to chase Finn down, beat him with her staff, and let BB-8 zap him twice before letting him speak.

"Let's be friends!"

• On Takodana, Rey attempts to shoot first when she sees a stormtrooper. The only reason she can’t is because her safety is on.

First Attempt

After first successful kill.

Continuing to shoot.

• When Rey sees Kylo for the first time in the forest, she shoots first.
• In the novel, Kylo addresses this, “You would kill me. Knowing nothing about me…I should be the one who should be scared. You shot first…It is I who was forced to defend myself against you.”
• In the forest on Starkiller, Rey shoots first.
• Granted, Kylo has his lightsaber out at the time, but he’s bleeding and makes no moves towards Finn or Rey.
• In fact, though they see him from afar (with enough chance to run if they wanted to), it’s Rey and Finn who walk towards Kylo*.
• In the duel, Rey ignites her saber first and attacks first**
• When Rey gets Luke/Anakin’s saber, she ignites it while Kylo’s is still off. He only turns in his on once hers is on.
• Once both of their sabers are on, it is Rey who charges Kylo, and he moves forwards as a response to her advance.

This aspect of Rey's design flies directly in the face of the common "Does not protect self very well—but is extremely defensive/proactive about defending friends/family" trait. Instead, especially at the beginning, Rey doesn't have anyone to protect and is very proactive and aggressive when it comes to herself and her newly-acquired friends (most notably BB-8). It's in fitting with her role as an action character and with her character background.
[*Going down the question rabbit hole a little bit (I have no answers for these), this is a really weird moment. They all three started walking out of the base at about the same time, but Rey and Finn were much closer to the outside, and they appeared to be running while Kylo was doing his typical stalk; how was it that Kylo was able to beat them to the forest? Did he sprint and then just lie in wait? Why were Rey and Finn so slow? They see him from like 20 feet away, why don’t they just book it out of there? If it’s because they want revenge for Han, why do they wait for Kylo to talk?]

[**I wish I’d noticed this when I was writing my Kylo post, but I noticed it here. In the Starkiller Duel/s, it is Rey and Finn who instigate every engagement. Rey shoots, and Kylo bashes her into a tree in response. Kylo calls Finn a traitor, but it is Finn who charges Kylo, and Kylo only moves once Finn has already begun to attack. Once Finn is down the first time, Kylo is turned away until Finn attacks again. Kylo turns his lightsaber off once Finn is out for the count and only turns it back on when Rey lights her up. Then, again, he doesn’t move to attack until Rey has already charged him. This is a really odd pattern. It could be written this way to show more about Rey and Finn; it emphasizes Rey’s “hit first” thing she’s being doing the whole story, and it shows Finn’s fierceness where his friends are concerned, but it’s weird that it’s every instance on Starkiller….anyway, back to the post]

Fledgling Friendships, BB-8 and Finn

This is the part of the story where Rey gets to grow a little bit in terms of her interactions. We’ve already talked about her meeting with BB-8.

The story continues, and Rey almost sells BB-8 for 60 portions of food. To be fair, that’s a lot of food, and she ultimately does not sell BB-8, but she was very close. After this, Rey becomes more sympathetic to and protective of BB-8, as highlighted in Rey’s concern for BB-8 after learning of Poe’s “death” and of Rey’s keeping track of BB-8 during the escape from Jakku.

The beginning of Rey’s relationship with Finn parallels her relationship with BB-8 in a couple ways.

• Both begin with Rey being aggressive towards someone: Finn first sees her beating two men with her staff.
• This is followed by aggressive behavior towards the pre-friend: Rey then attacks Finn with her staff, knocks him down, and yells at him.
• These negative moments are not followed by an apology of any kind.
• There is a denial of intimacy: “What are you doing?”/”Let go of me!”/“I know how to run without you holding my hand”/”Stop taking my hand!”
• Then a slow opening up: Rey helping Finn up when he’s knocked out and including him in her escape.

Rey’s faster warming up to BB-8 is, I think, due to BB-8’s robotic nature and immediate loyalty. Rey might be more comfortable about BB-8 because he is not strictly “alive”, and Rey is used to working with machines. Finn, on the other hand, is a person, and people are more complicated and fraught. BB-8 does not ask much of Rey, either. He attaches himself to her, but he doesn’t make any demands. Finn, on the other hand, has wants. He wants to know her past and motivations, wants to know if she has a boyfriend, wants her to leave Jakku permanently, wants her to leave the quest and come to the Outer Rim with him, wants her to view him in a positive light. BB-8 doesn’t seem to mind Rey’s negativity, but Finn is human and needs more out of Rey.

What really brings Finn and Rey together is their synergy over the next few scenes. As a former soldier, this is probably nothing new to Finn. For Rey, however, this is something completely new. I think the idea that she can accomplish more with another person (and have fun!) is a game-changer for her. Rey gets her first “happy in another’s presence” moment after she, Finn, and BB-8 escape Jakku.

It's blurry because they move so much >.<

This is also an important moment to Rey because it’s a fulfillment of her dreams. She wants to be a pilot with all that entails; she wants to belong; she wants to escape the drudgery; she wants her skills to pay off. All of this happens in the escape; it’s probably the height of her life up to this point.

She starts to think of herself as part of a team, “He’s part of the Resistance. He’s going to get you home. We both will.” (emphasis mine). This is also when we (finally) learn her name.

It should be noted, however, that Rey is not 100% opened up. While dealing with an emergency in the bowels of the Millennium Falcon, Finn tries to make small talk, but Rey is all business.

Rey: “Get me the bonding tape. Hurry.”

Finn: “What about you?”

Rey: “I’ve got to get back to Jakku.”

Finn: “Back to Ja—why does everyone want to go back to Jakku?”

Rey: “It’s not that one.”

Finn: “That place is—”

Rey: “No. The one I’m pointing to. No. No. No. If we don’t patch this up, the propulsion tank will overflow and flood the ship with poisonous gas!”

….

Finn: “Hey, Rey, you’re a pilot; you can fly anywhere. Why go back? You got a family? Gotta boyfriend? Cute boyfriend?”

Finn is clearly more interested in furthering the friendship, even ignoring the crisis at hand to try to learn more personal information about Rey. Rey, however, is more concerned about fixing the ship and shuts down every one of Finn’s overtures.

Intimacy, Friendship, and Rey

Rey and Finn are fledgling friends, but they don’t trust each other. While Finn shows his distrust by lying, Rey shows her distrust by refusing to share information and by rejecting intimacy. This fits Rey’s more closed-off nature. This dynamic is shown throughout the movie in different ways. We see it when Finn grabs Rey’s hand and she rejects him. We see it when Rey is fixing the Millennium Falcon. We see it shortly afterwards when the Millennium Falcon is getting sucked up by Han.

We see it in their interactions on Takodana, and when Rey avoids Finn’s question, “Did he hurt you?” on Starkiller Base.

Rey’s relationships and interactions with others are predicated on avoidance; she doesn’t willingly tell anyone anything about herself. She’s a private individual. This is good because it’s good writing; her traits carry through, but it’s also nice because she’s a female character with these traits. Normally, a female character in her place is always written as friendly, and they spend their time making overtures to the brooding male characters. The writers have flipped that, and I think it’s quite lovely.

Significance of Rey’s Taciturnity

Naturally, there’s another, symbolic, side to this. In Kylo’s section, I spoke about how the Confession^TM scene was subverted in a big way. In order for the Confession to be spun in this reversed way, Rey needs something to confess. If she’s already spilled her guts to every character she comes across, this subversion loses meaning. The poignancy of “this guy knows my Secret and gets me but is super evil” is also lost if Rey doesn’t keep herself so closed off.

Rey keeping mum also affects how the audience learns about her. In stories, it’s common to learn about characters through what they say to other people. However, as in real life, characters often present themselves as better than they actually are, (a la “Yeah, I’m part of the Resistance”) in order to impress who they’re talking to. If most of a character’s characterization is done in this way, our view of them is skewed. We don’t know who they really are; we only know who they want people to think they are. Rey’s development is different. We learn about her in two ways: from the vision and her reactions to it and from non-consented mind reading.

Our greatest leaps for Rey’s character come in Takodana with her vision and subsequent interaction with Maz and on Starkiller Base with the Confession^TM.

Rey on Takodana

Takodana is important for many reasons. Today, we’ll be focusing on what we learn about Rey’s motivations while on Takodana.

As noted above, Rey does not share her personal life with others. On Takodana, we get a rare window into her psyche.

We’re tipped off to what’s to come with Finn’s plan to leave to the Outer Rim and Rey’s intense, “don’t go,” response. This stands out a little; why does Rey care so much? They haven’t known each other that long. This moment exists to ping and prepare us for her vision; it’s abandonment foreshadowing.

Consider our heartstrings tugged.

Ah, yes. This reveals a key part of the character that’s been built for Rey thus far. This is why she wants to go home. This is why she’s never left, even though it’s terrible. This is why she doesn’t trust people. This is why she reacts so strongly to Finn wanting to leave.

We also witness the moment Rey is set free from this fear. Using her “eye reading” power, Maz tells Rey, “…You already know the truth. Whoever you’re waiting for on Jakku—they’re never coming back.”

They’re Never Coming Back

This is the linchpin moment for Rey’s character. Up until this point, her entire motivation has revolved around this secret past. She wants to go back to Jakku because she’s waiting for her family. All of her issues stem from her abandonment. She’s devoted her whole life to waiting for these people to come back for her. She cannot move forward until this part of her life has been closed.

Not only this, but apparently Rey’s “known” that they’re not coming back for some time; she just hasn’t acknowledged this fact. She is just too entrenched in waiting, and this has taken away her ability to change. Who will she be without this? In a way, it’s a trial by fire. Rey is able to leave these fears behind by realizing them. Only by accepting the truth is she able to grow.

This realization also comes at a very convenient time. She’s literally been waiting almost her whole life for this moment, and just as she’s losing what gave her life meaning, she’s gained something else—the Force. And along with the Force, she’s given a mission, “Someone still could.”

She gets to trade her external motivation for an internal one. Rather than waiting for someone who may or may not bother to show up, she is able to pursue. Finally, she will be an actor in her own life. Not only this, but her new journey involves improving herself and her innate abilities. Her story has become about herself.

In one tidy happenstance, Rey’s agency is revealed and her life is given meaning. No longer existing for subsistence, Rey has a part to play in a game with greater significance. This has “hero’s journey” written all over it; it’s the call to action.

And, as is typical to the hero’s journey, Rey rejects the first call. It’s too much, too scary, too soon, and she runs away into the woods.

Forest of Takodana: Accepting the Call

Rey’s acceptance of her Destiny does not come all at once; she accepts her fate in dribs and drabs over the rest of the movie. It all begins in the forest.

By running into the forest, Rey is attempting to go back to her life-homeostasis; herself, alone, battling the elements. She does not run to the comfort of her new-found friends, even though Han is knowledgeable about Luke and the Force; even though Finn is familiar with being thrust suddenly into new and frightening circumstances. She wants to be alone, because she knows she can depend on herself. She even rejects BB-8, saying, “You have to go back. I’m leaving…you have to go back; you’re too important. They’ll help you,” showing she’s chosen (once again) to internalize a negative view of herself—just-a-scavenger/not-important—it also shows Rey’s attempt to take herself out of the team. It went from “We’ll help you” in the Millennium Falcon to “They’ll help you”.

However, as Maz said, the answer does not lie behind Rey, as she soon realizes herself. She’s content run away until she sees the invasion of First Order ships. Realizing she can’t go back to caring just about herself anymore, she runs back towards the group. This is the first acceptance; accepting she’s part of something bigger.

This acceptance is magnified when Rey and BB-8 are on the run again. Rey tells BB-8 to go ahead without her.

Note her wording, “I’ll try to fight them off” (emphasis mine). Rey is not confident about her chances of survival, but she thinks she’ll be able to give BB-8 enough of a head start to matter. This is really touching. Just ten minutes ago, Rey was going to leave everyone to their own devices, but now, realizing she’s part of something bigger, she’s willing to sacrifice herself so her side has a better chance of winning. These six words show an important shift in Rey’s character; even though she’s facing the most intense disappointment of her life, she subsumes her own needs and emotions to help out everyone else. And just like that, she’s on her way to hero status. This is a nice touch by the filmmakers. Female protagonists tend to be too far one way in the beginning; either they’re so comically evil their turnaround doesn’t make sense, or they’re the embodiment of sweetness and light and have no real need to change or grow. Rey fits neatly in the middle; she’s a well-rounded character with motivations and actions that fit together.

The Kidnapping^TM

Takodana is the most key point in the movie for Rey’s character development. Not only to we have our first reveal into her mind with her visions and subsequent conversation with Maz, we have the Kidnapping^TM  which leads to our second (and last) look into Rey’s psyche.

Keeping with the Love Triangle Dynamics, Rey is Kidnapped^TM  by the Bad Guy of our story, Kylo Ren. It’s an old trope but a true one. Though a typical development, this occurrence is not lazy, nor does it undermine the strength of Rey’s character. Rather, it is in fitting with Rey’s characterization up to this point, and it sets up the audience for a greater pay-off at the end of the movie.

As we’ve already covered, the Kidnapping^TM  leads to the Confession^TM  on the part of the Bad Guy (BG).  In TFA, this trope gets subverted; many people who dislike the Kidnapping^TM   dislike it for the disempowerment of the female character; when this character is a Strong Female^TM, this dislike tends to be stronger. Again, in a tidy fashion, TFA keeps the Kidnapping^TM while still portraying Rey’s agency and strength.

• In the beginning of the scene, Kylo gives Rey the power of the room by manipulating his stance to be lower-than, less-than, inferior. It’s very rare for a BG to act this way in a Kidnapping ^TM.
• Rey keeps her cool throughout the scene despite her fear and the possible danger of her situation.
• Rey is in control of herself, and therefore, more in control of the situation. There is a push-and-pull nature to her and Kylo’s interactions, but Kylo is the one more moved/affected by instinct and Rey. She has a greater affect on him than he does on her.

The Confession^TM Flip

We’ve already talked about this in Kylo’s post, but the focus will be on Rey’s side of things. From the female side of the Confession^TM:

• Typically, the BG confesses to the protagonist as she passively absorbs the information, tucking it away to be dissected or disseminated later.
• Typically, the protagonist takes no part in the Confession ^TM; the BG leaves the scene without learning anything new about her. The scene is about his characterization. Perhaps, as a side effect of the BG’s confession, the protagonist gains the trait of “good listener” which may or may not be carried through the narrative.

The Confession flip of TFA is done in two primary ways:

• Kylo takes a Confession from Rey. Rather than being a scene solely about Kylo and Kylo’s motivations, the scene is equally important to the characterizations Kylo and Rey. They both have two moments of ‘reveal’, and this, their second, is with each other.
• Rey takes the Confession^TM from Kylo.
• Though Kylo reveals some of his inner workings through his actions in this scene, the big reveal is taken from him the same way he took Rey’s from her.
• Rey and Kylo are now more intimate with each other than they are with anyone else.
• This puts the characters on equal footing; they know the same amount about each other, and they have both experienced the same thing at each other’s hands.

Rather than making the interactions and characterization one-sided, the filmmakers subverted the trope. We still have the Kidnapping^TM and the Confession^TM, showing these to be important to the story (wonder why….), but they are subtly tweaked to keep Rey on equal footing with her male foil.

Empowerment Height: The Snow Fight

Between the interrogation and snow fight, we have a few more great moments from Rey; she successfully commands someone using the Force; she frees herself (very important as Finn’s rescue attempt puts her solidly in the ‘damsel in distress’ category), and she’s well on her way to stealing a ship and escaping when she meets up with Han, Finn, and Chewbacca. We see a further defining of Rey and Finn’s relationship; she ignores his question “did he hurt you?”, but expresses her joy/appreciation that Finn came to get her.

But, rushing along, to the snow fight! A couple of notes before we begin: many people say this is Rey’s most-empowered scene for many reasons. I do not agree with most of them. I’m going to break those down first.

It’s empowering because she’s whupped Kylo’s ASS!!!!
This is normally tied to the idea of “women can only be empowered when they’re beating men”, and it has sinister implications. I don’t buy into this idea in general, and—
Kylo was working at a disadvantage (shot by bowcaster, emotionally dealing with Han’s death, plus had fought Finn right before fighting Rey), meaning Rey didn’t beat him at his best, negating any empowerment coming purely from winning. Beating someone with a handicap isn’t “winning”.
Also, as covered in Kylo’s post, I do not think he was trying to hurt her. This functions as a motivational handicap. It’s stated that Rey wants to kill Kylo, but we have nothing to indicate he wants to kill her.
This also credits Rey’s empowerment to violence; it’s “empowering” because she’s done something violent and maimed another being. At least as far as the SW universe goes, this sort of thing is bad—dark-side. If Rey’s empowerment requires her to be angry/dark/violent, it’s not very good, is it?
Rey is empowered by acting as an avenging angel who is punishing Kylo for killing his father!!!!!
This one makes Rey’s strength all about men rather than about herself. “Her empowerment comes from her hurting a man for killing another man!” Hurray. This undermines Rey’s own feelings about/hatred towards Kylo and replaces them with some odd second-hand motivation.
We have no reason to believe Rey knows about Han and Kylo’s relationship. Han never told her Kylo was his son, and Kylo never told her Han was his father. Sure, there were hints given here and there, but we have no indication she put these hints together. Han and Kylo’s discussion on the bridge is much too quiet for Rey to have heard. She possibly/probably could have made out Han yelling “Ben!” and figured they knew each other somehow, but knowing they were father and son? That’s a stretch from the material.
Another indicator she doesn’t know is that, during the fight, she says nothing about it. She calls Kylo a “monster”—probably the worst thing she can think of, but she doesn’t throw “you killed your own dad!” in Kylo’s face despite the great ammo this would make.
It’s empowering because she saved Finn!!!
Usually, this is tied to some idea that this is the first time she’s saved Finn, and that she’s returning the favor for all the times he’s saved her….No. Just no. Rey saved Finn on Jakku and got him off-planet. Rey saved Finn from the rathtar. Finn failed to save her on Takodana, and by the time he got to Starkiller base, she was already well on her way to saving herself. Yes, Finn fights Kylo while Rey is passed out, but there’s so much more to this scene than Rey evening the score with Finn.
And, again, this makes her empowerment about a man.         

Now, for why it’s actually empowering. 

The duel scene is empowering as the culmination of Rey’s character as portrayed by the movie to this point. The key aspect is this: Rey has “become” more fully herself through her abilities with the Force. She fully embraces it for the first time. This is the source of her agency; it’s her innate ability that allows her to control her destiny. We saw this building in her escape from the interrogation room, but she wasn’t using all aspects of the Force. In the duel:

• The lightsaber goes to her, and she takes it, accepting it.
• She uses it, unafraid this time.
• She uses the Force mentally, using it to calm herself and keep her head in the game.
• And this mental use of the Force is shown physically, when, at the end of the duel, she begins using her lightsaber with skill and precision, allowing her to defeat Kylo.
• At the end of the duel, when Kylo is on the ground, we see further development from Rey in that she doesn’t kill him. In the novel, this moment is written, “She recoiled from it. From the dark side.” Meaning that, even before the ground split them apart, Rey had made the “light” (right) choice of not killing Kylo Ren. This is different from her “hit first, ask questions later” modus operandi shown in the rest of the movie.

Though Rey’s moment of empowerment is a violent moment, and it does come after Han dying and Finn defending her, this moment is about Rey, Rey’s abilities, and Rey’s acceptance of herself. This is what makes it her most empowering moment; she’s beginning to come into her own. Her acceptance of the call to action is complete.
Finding Luke

Finding Luke at the end of the movie is a continuation of the empowerment Rey found in the Starkiller duel. In the duel, she accepts herself, her abilities, and her destiny. Finding Luke shows she followed through. On Starkiller, she was caught between a rock and a hard place; afterwards, it would be easy for her to let it slide and go back to how she was. However, she continues her growth, independently seeking Luke out to bring him his lightsaber and (as implied) to seek training.

Conclusion

Rey fits into the Love Triangle Dynamics in that she is a female character who experiences the typical actions of the male-characters-in-the-Love-Triangle-Dynamics; she is lied to by the Good Guy and Kidnapped by the Bad Guy, and so on. However, she is not “just” that character. She is written in an atypical manner; instead of friendly, sweet, and innocent, Rey is unfriendly, acerbic, and a little world-weary (if naïve at times). These traits allow Rey to more fully inhabit her own story and keep the story revolving around her. The subversions in the plot, as seen in the oddly reversed-Confession, develop Rey’s character more fully and allow her to keep and enhance her agency rather than turning her into a pawn between Good and Evil (or Good Guy and Bad Guy).
I really appreciate this about Rey's design. Though she's part of a sexist trope, the film creators made sure Rey was a solid, unique, strong, rounded character with agency. Even in moments like the interrogation or Finn's damsel-in-distress-rescue (which by definition take freedom away from the female protagonist) Rey manages to realistically take control of the situation, further cementing herself as an actually strong character.

As far as where the Love Triangle Dynamics will end up, I’m not sure. There have been some hints about a romance or romances showing up in Episode VIII, but that’s it. Finn, Kylo, and Rey may have been written in this manner for Episode VII, but there is nothing to say the pattern must continue into episode VIII. After all, other than Finn’s “You got a boyfriend?” line, we have no reason to suspect romantic interest between the characters. It could have been included to showcase Rey's strength and how she's different from other heroines of her type. It could have been included to keep the audience's attention on Rey by making two prominent characters concern themselves with her. We'll only know when the series is done.

I know some people are hoping for no romance at all; they want Rey to remain single. Personally, I hope this is not the case. Some people consider singledom necessary for women to be Strong^TM, but I am not one of these people. I think romantic love is uniquely rewarding and inspiring. If done the right way, a romance would not weaken Rey’s character. As shown by TFA, she can be in the center of a Love Triangle--a dynamic that typically doesn’t concern itself with the female character--and still have agency, grow as an individual, and be more than a stereotype. If the film creators continue to do as well with Rey as they did in TFA, falling in love would not take this away from her; it would just show us another side of an already-complex character.